I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
