one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's blow job season.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
