Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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