please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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