I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
