i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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