i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So gin and wine won't be happening again
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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