I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
