matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
