i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
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