thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
