I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Small penises have feelings too.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
