This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
