I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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