All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
