Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
