God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
