i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
