I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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