More tranny stories later!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
