walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
