That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
