Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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