bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Watching her eat just hurts me
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
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