Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I need to stop coming to work sober
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
