Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
