Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think I won the penis lottery.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
