He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
