I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
