she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
