now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
