I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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