wakey wakey hands off snakey
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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