she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
