I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
