I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
