I must be too annoying 4 u.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
