decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
