Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
is wine microwaveable?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
