I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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