I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you win again, gameday.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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