PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
