I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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