just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
