And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
