Its about making memories worth repressing
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
