I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
