went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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