Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
