I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
